I can't deal with job search any freakin' more. Today I sent in my resume to the city paper so they can laugh in my face. I hope they do get a good giggle out of it. Also mailboxes etc., which is at least quasi-feasible. Damnit, I'm not as inept and pathetic as my work history suggests.

So today I went over to Cosi, as suggested by Brendan, since they're opening up new stores. First: this is about the fifth time I've felt like being white and female in a job search was awkward. Today while I applied four other people were also in and out. Four black men. I just keep noticing that I'm the whitest white girl applying at many of these jobs. At Radio Shack I also felt out of place even for being female. This is all bullshit.

So I told the guy who interviewed me that I had reliable transportation home. Ha. Reliable transportation after the metro was closed would have involved me walking back home down most of the length of Pennsylvania Avenue. Fuck it, I would have done it anyhow. It also wasn't in a particularly well-off neightbourhood. I wandered around the place a bit, I had been considering walking home today. Instead I went in the wrong direction and felt conspicious walking through a neighbourhood which reminded me of bits of Queens I don't tend to spend much time in because we always end up in the more affluent sections. All in all I got the impression that I just didn't fit. Damnit, I'm not money. I don't look like money to real money. I don't look like regular folk to non-money, maybe, though. Yarghit.

Meanwhile, I keep trying to be enthusiastic about "I can do this!" "My talents are up to that!" I'm going to end up in retail again, though, I just know it. My skills are just all in the wrong places. I would be good for office work. I can even show things that make it look that way. Anything else... I can manage by virtue of the fact that I'm a fast learner and very persistent, but it doesn't look like I'm suited. =\ I'll do the damned work and do it well. I have pride. Just give me a damned job.

I wish I could get my mind off of this stuff. In the mean time, I'm reading Snow Crash, wasting time online, and being vain. Yes, me. I dunno why, but lately I just have been. I want a bloody reality check. And damn, I'm itchy as all hell. *sigh*
posted by Unknown at 9:10 PM