Whee. Time to launch into finals week. It's so wonderfulicious. I have French tomorrow. *shrug* It'll be okay, probably. I should still be in bed now, though.

So oddly enough I had a dream last night which involved people I've never met. The last one of those had Miyu in it, and I don't recall the details at this point. In this one spinn, zompist and several other people who morphed in and out through the dream were in a limo. For some reason they needed someone as a replacement for some sort of entertainment event. It involved a slightly aged, but fairly decent looking clarinet, and a very nice looking flute, and so I immediately said, "I can do that!" I then got shoved in the trunk of the limo. Limo takes off, I fuddle about in the trunk, I end up pulling the trunk lid up from the inside (yes, I know that's not possible) and being told I should put it back down again. Oddly the whole affair was non-threatening. I woke up when we got to our destination and headed down an escalator. It looked exaclty like an old movie theatre I used to go to on occasion. The whole dream was very surreal, though, and since I don't have clear concepts of what the people actually look like it ended up as they they were more animated photos than anything else.

So I went gung ho volunteer today... for the time being I now moderate three fora at brunchma. Well. At least they aren't all busy ones. I'm hoping the mod search goes through quickly this time around... and with less mishap. Still not really thrilled with everything. I've resolved to try to ignore it as much as possible for the time being. It should be about the community. It'll end up that way to some extent no matter who becomes admin or mod, and despite any of the actions of those people.

Someone today said something that was true. Yes, I'm sure in the grand scheme of things this is rare. Well. So I'm self-important. Yeah, I definitely agree. I think more so than even normal. I'm not selfish, though. Nor do I think supernaturally well of myself. I just stick myself in all over. In terms of practicality, it's stupid. I'm not worth all that much, so I'll spread myself all over the damned place and that'll make it better! Right. And then you metacognise and realise that to even talk about this is a further aspect of it. Essentially it's reflected in everything I do. Everywhere you could poke a hole or ridicule me... it's all a product of that one attitude. So how many tragic flaws do I have now? A few. Well. I don't quite know how one fixes these things. I'll have to get to it at some point, though.

Oh, and happy mothers' day. I sent my mother a greeting. But I do believe she's in "I hate my daughters" mode right now, so who knows when she'll get it. *shrug* I ought to care more, but I don't have the energy to do so. It'd be very selfless of me to love my mother and sincerely care for her despite her attitudes and whatnot. I'm saving that energy and selflessness for people who deserve it more. Yes, that was pretty snippy. I've been an angry person lately. Eh.
posted by Unknown at 12:01 AM