I really like the Lukas we're doing in wind ensemble. So of course I've had snippets in my head the entire day. I want to get on with this upcoming concert just so I can hear that more often. In between various bits of Musica Boema, I've also had a song of Mordion's floating through my head a lot, and I'm working on writing something of my own which is simple enough to be pop music. It's hard for me to do. I kept trying to throw in minor major ninth chords and whatever drivel.

I'm having a stupid lame angst day again. I'm sick of me. I mean... well. I'm sick of me being angsty, and I suppose I'm somewhat sick of me, too. I just want some peace in my life, and I'm not getting it here.

So I told Mordion today that I generally have more respect for people who don't like me. If you think I'm an okay person and you let me know, I automatically begin to wonder if you tend to be at all clear-headed, I suppose. It's not precisely that way.... I guess I just put more emphasis on the opinions of those who dislike me. I'm stacking my own deck against myself.

Yeah, so Donald Rumsfield.... ooh baby.

I've got a lot to look forward to lately. After this week I'll be done with Festival Chorus, plus I'll have time off from Wind Ensemble. Mordion and our band will do some recording, and I think we're playing Rich's game soon. I'm all psyched to play my ditzy character. Funny, since the other game I'm currently playing has a character whom I designed to be just like me, and I don't want to play her anymore. Will anyone switch lives with me for a day or so? I'm just sick of this. And sick of being melodramatic about it.

I should read more. I should compose more. I should figure out what I honestly want more. *Grin* Maybe I do know, and I'm just too scared to say it.
posted by Unknown at 11:36 PM