I am so broke. So broke. I have no idea what to do about it anymore. *sigh*. It's time to start doing my laundry in the sink. I'm screwed. Screwed. And I'm not asking my mom for help because I'm sort of not dealing with her anymore. Um. *sigh* Why is my life so complicated?

So I've put in a lot of time in the past few days on doing the Brunching maps (which I first considered doing around July, I think, but anyhow...). I suppose it was finally definitely time when Trench hadn't posted in a month and his website with the previous maps went down. =\. Meanwhile, it's funny how I'll undertake a project like that which is so bloody time consuming and not all that rewarding, but I won't do simpler things that will help me.

Oh well. At least I got a small bit more understanding out of it. Got a decent freeware FTP client because I was forced to look, did the FTP properly, even though I've never uploaded anything before.... Geocities and Angelfire accounts aren't much conducive to that. Did something with tables I've wanted to try in the past, and did it right. *shrug* But I'm being lazy and not indenting properly and all, so my web programming prof wouldn't approve. *shrug* Concert for orchestra is Sunday. Concert for Wind Ensemble went fairly well. Adler piece wasn't as good as the concert from the week before with Adler conducting it... but I suppose that shouldn't be a surprise. The Weill went really well, and that's what's important. Meanwhile, I want a recording of the concert badly, but I can't get one of course, because they're fifteen dollars and I have less than no money. I have no idea how I'm handling spring break... And Beth says she has jury duty.... aargh.

I'm looking forward to seeing Stenny and Beth, if this works out... but since this past weekend Battle of the Bands was postponed, I think I'll still have final battle that weekend. *sigh* I guess I might have to skip out. It isn't like I generally see Stenny and Beth more than once a semester, if that. *sigh* I feel bad. I guess I'll try to go to tear down of both Superdance and Battle this coming weekend to make up for it. Meanwhile, I hope all this blarghing snow melts by the time they get here.

We read through two new pieces in Wind Ensemble today, and they both look pretty cool. The one I can't spell especially. *grin* The composer is from Czecheslovokia (no, I can't spell that on the fly and I don't want to look it up) from when it was behind the iron curtain. The piece was smuggled out of the country on a train. It's a *really* cool piece. Plus piccolo solo. *preen* :P Nah, it's just really interesting.... wish I could write like that. The other piece... Some Yale dedicated thing.... Movement subtitles are all things like "Rollo goes to the library," "Rollo gets a job," "Rollo wanks off in a closet." Okay, so I made that last one up. I can't be expected to remember the real thing. I am almost positive the guy's name is Thomas C. something and I can't remember the last name at all. How odd.

Anyhow... I was a bit frustrated today with how the reading worked out because of this confusion in the piccolo part. Dr. Holcomb thought there were two and so told Melissa, our principal, that she could play picc. This is incorrect: there is only one piccolo part, but the listing in the score is ambiguous. Consequently Melissa ended up getting the piccolo part in band, and I sorta was confused a bit and ended up not playing one of the movements, and doing another on flute. Melissa has just started learning the piccolo this semester, mind you, and I auditioned and got into this ensemble on piccolo, which does take *some* doing. She seemed to be taking the attitude that she'd be playing piccolo on this piece regardless and I should just double on one of the flute parts, since she'd expressed an interest in playing piccolo in ensemble to learn it. Now I'm sorry.... Melissa is a very good player, yes, but she doesn't know the piccolo, and this isn't a simple part. I think it'd be a bit ridiculous for her scenario to happen. I also think it would be extremely unfair to me. *shrug* Plus it'd be sorta sabotaging the ensemble. If there's any instrument you really need to know what you're doing on, it's piccolo, because *everyone* knows when you're playing, and everyone knows when it isn't perfect. I'm sure Melissa could get to my level on picc in the future, but not in the short amount of time they give us to prepare for concerts around here. *sigh* It just bothered me. I feel like I get pushed aside rather a bit in life, because I'm loath to speak up. Well, I damned well did. I'm sorry, but as a flutist I'm entitled to be grabby and selfish, and I want that part. :P

I should have gone to bed early and gotten up early and practiced and... argh. Lesson tomorrow. Only the second of the semester. I want to beat my head against the wall with how bad I'm getting about practicing this year. Aargh.

Oh! But paycheck from proctoring is finally in. Not sure if I'll be able to cash it. Can't really use it for my own purposes regardless. *Sigh* We'll see. I need financial help. I can't ask for it. Although my friends have actually volunteered. Damn. It means a lot to me that they're offering, but I just can't deal with that. Damn. I don't spend *that much* money! Life is expenisve.

Maybe this week I'll have some time to do more recording now that I know we have a mic in the lab. *crosses fingers* I should get to bed, though.
posted by Unknown at 11:25 PM