Bless. It's almost the end of my break, and I'm really happy just now. Probably because I'm still over at Beth's and we're about off to meet some other people. I feel really peaceful. It's almost nicer than the happy bit. The sort of thing where you try and analyse what causes these feelings and realise that a) you can't, b) it's beside the point, and c) if you did come up with something, it wouldn't help you recreate that feeling.

It's a beautiful day out thus far. I have no idea what we're going to get together and do, but it's never been about that, has it?

Tomorrow I head back to Albany, and I get to spend time with Suz and Senta again. *grin* They are both so great. However, being myself, I walk into their house, see them, get very excited, give them both big hugs, then immediately think we ought to be playing woodwind chamber music. *dorkdorkdork* I wonder where I'll find my fix when I'm out of school....

So now summer is up in the air just slightly, seeing as that Jenna is no longer positive she'll be able to go into Peace Corps due to medical coverage details. *sigh* If she doesn't leave, then even summer becomes dubious. Is it at all reasonable to consider spending a summer on your friends' couch? I dunno. And if so, what do I pay in terms of rent? Aiee. I just want to have somewhere to call home for a bit and a steady job and an online connection. :P

I don't want to think about Tuesday.... hearings are scary things. I guess it's good that I'll be going through it at the same time Liz is, because we can commiserate. Hm. I just don't really feel ready. Don't want to deal with it at all, really. *sigh* I just don't want to give this recital, because it isn't for me. It's a beaurocratic requirement for someone else, and not properly a reflection of myself and my skills. Suz pointed this out to me when I told her what I'm playing. No piccolo works, nothing modern. One classical, one baroque, one quasi-romantic. I HATE CLASSICAL. It's almost half my program in terms of length. No, this recital isn't at all about me. *sigh* I almost feel as though I should try to arrange to do a more accurate one elsewhere.

Looks like it's almost time to get going to Boston Brunchmeet. Party on a stick. I don't even know if it'll be any more than just Beth, Ian and myself, but I'm sure we'll have a good enough time regardless.

can't wait to get back to Fredonia.... By Tuesday I already missed Mordion and other people. Kinda sad... what am I going to do during the summer? What am I going to do when I graduate? And when the hell is that anyhow? *sigh* Time to reclaim my calmness.
posted by Unknown at 11:02 AM