Today I had a phrase running through my head.... "Now there is allness and smallness and tallness..." I spent a couple hours asking people if they know if it was from poem.... Finally I googled it and found it was a King Missile song. Stenny has officially invaded my head. So I told Morde'an that I had a phrase in my head, and she commented that I was the first person she knew who understood that concept. Other people don't do that? Of course she and I are two of the few people I know who admit to always have a song in our heads. Always.

Today Morde'an started whistling and it reminded me of Saint Saens, so I started whistling this part of Air et Danse Bacchanale which is ever so much fun. She grumped facetiously about me showing her up with my whistling capabilities and compared it to another song that she thought sounded similar.

I'm just so happy to be rooming with her. She always makes me laugh, and I think she's a fabulous person. She is so intersting, and mentally adept, and good to talk to. She has such intersting insights. I keep waiting for her to realize how annoying I am, of course.

Today when I passed Morde'an in the halls of Mason I asked her things were going and she seemed a little upset. I later had time to talk to her and found out she was upset by a couple people who were being genuinely mean-spirited. I really understand what she means when she talks about how this upsets her. It always surprises me to find people like that. I'm always thinking the best. I'm so happy to continually find that I have no understanding of cruelty. I think I'm somehow still pure and untainted.

I'm so gratified by all the people who surround me now. How much I respect so many people... all this positivity is reflecting well in my life. Blessings.

Today I told my mother I had no intention of living back in New York when I graduate. She doesn't seem to be objecting. I've been so much more forthright and brave, and it it's working for me. I'll be free soon, not just financially. I think so.

At one point I was worried with all the bizarre searches that were turning up this journal with who might have read what I've written, but I don't think it matters anymore. I'm free and I'm myself. If you want to confront me with what I've written, either it's what I genuinely believe, or it's what I've postulated once and since perhaps decided against. There is no power with which you can attack me when I know who I am. Only now do I find my spirtual strength catching up with my physical and mental strength. I think I'm beginning to believe in me. Let's just see if it lasts.
posted by Unknown at 10:52 PM