ok, so we believe in procrastination. firmly. absolutely. yes.

well, boston definitely will work, it seems. it's just that i'm leaving six hours later than i originally thought. i don't know *why* there isn't an eleven o clock bus today, but according to the ticket counter there isn't. *shrug* but so i really like leaving at the butt crack of dawn, as cara used to put it, if i recall correctly. this means that i will end up finishing my fast for yom kippur just about as i get to tufts. hrm. interesting.

the bus is my temple. yeah. personally, i think an eleven hour bus trip is a way of atoning for sins. well at least i get to drive up to buffalo now, rather than taking the pointless hour and a half bus trip up there through winding paths and other idiocies.

bless my friend, carolyn. she's my saviour. if not for her then i'd have to take the six thirty bus up to buffalo and wait at the station all night. all my friends keep coming through for me. it's so amazing. someone should follow me around and smack me on the head whenever i start getting into self-pity. i am so damned lucky in so many ways. i just wish i could express all this and everything else that matters to everyone that matters. which is everyone, actually. damn. and i'm a sentimentalist fool, too. well, at least it keeps me amused.

so proctoring is turning out to be such a productive experience for me, right? what i've done today is largely just to get people not to drink things in front of the computers, check some of the board, and now blog. very useful, yes. at least at one point i managed to do something music related in here. and that was for the lesson i missed on monday. *sigh* useful, yes.

ooh. now there's a recording techniques class going on in the lab next door. ooh, i can see morde'an from here. oooh. ahh. the rewards of this job are endless. no, i like what i'm doing. it's just... eh. i'm not good with authority. especially authority with unseen limits on it that you have to figure out for yourself. i'm not sure if i'm in any way responsible if anything goes on in the lab next door while there's a teacher there. i intervened in something anyhow, because i knew that it was a very sensible and clear cut rule and that it wasn't too interfering. this is better than i usually do, i suppose. i just really don't want to mess anything up.

i keep saying i want more music in my life, but here i am again sitting in front of a computer with all the programs i could ever want... peak is a deity and deck a demi god. we have such wonderful resources. so of course i'm merely making use of the faster speed the macs have on our connection. it's the same t1, but somehow these end up being something like twelve times faster. *shrug* i guess because we don't have as many macs on the server and?

i need to understand more. i don't know anything about computers, or at least comparatively, and it's what i'd really like to learn, more than just about anything else. the only thing i have any knowledge of is audio editing programs and the like. i know a bit about sound. ooh helpful. *grimace* i don't even know much about that.

i think my issue is that when i'm online i tend to be hanging out with a somewhat elite crowd, so i end up looking like an utter moron comparatively. and if there's anything i love, it's looking stupid around people i respect. *sigh* alternately i could not talk to them... right. so i'll just go on feeling inferior. whoo boy, hose me down.

hmm. there's just something very funny about discussing how much of an idiot you are using relatively elegant speech. it's pretty hard for me to start in on simple words. i don't even think of them first. in order to write simply i have to consciously substitute smaller words. then to talk about stupidity while using terms... i'm sure i've said things like "my inherent inferiority" before. oh, and "mentally deficient." yup, i sure sound stoopid. ahyup. i'm an elitist about insulting myself. ^_^

ooh, lab time's almost up. they're going to unleash me on the real world again. watch out. especially if you live in boston. mwa ha ha ha....
posted by Unknown at 8:56 AM