i have to buy music. soon. a sizable amount of it. cds, mostly, but sheet music, too, actually. just listened to south side again, and i can't believe i've gotten along so far without buying play. i've heard this song so many times, but i still love it. i've heard the whole album so many times... lots of time spent in susan's room. :)

at this time next week i'll be two thirds of the way done with the plane ride back to new york. praise all the heavens, i need to get out of here. i'll be so damned happy to get out of here. and i still feel badly for feeling this way, but it's unavoidable. i don't know how debi stands it here. well, i guess rob explains a lot of that. i guess if my fiancé were stuck living in utah i'd stay, too. hmm. wonder if that's a bad show of priorities.

mom sent debi more clothing... i think this is to cheer debi up with all her medical whatnot going on right now... obviously i need to get myself direly ill so that i can get hideously ugly shirts, too. *rolls eyes* i suppose that it did cheer debi up a bit--we certainly both got a good laugh out of it.... yellow... eww. polka dots.... eep. stripes? what's that thing? she thinks i can fit into that? oh look at the texture of that thing! blergh!

my mother doesn't have bad taste, strictly speaking... well, ok, she does, actually, but she will end up coming up with really great things every once in a while, i suppose due to odd cosmic coincidence. this was *not* one of those times. i *could* be jealous of debi's package.... but that would require more masochism than i can safely exhibit.

two more days of work! (well, possibly three due to my extremely pathetic and idiotic showing of mercy.) tomorrow i'll be working with jaime, probably for the last time. i hope she can make it on friday for lunch. i do so want to be able to say i did something social here. i'm also hoping that i'm done with working with ashley. she makes me want to hit things. there's nothing like having someone four years younger than you and probably with an iq about half of yours attempting to instruct you and order you around. i don't think i get uppity terribly often, but if you really want to piss me off, then presume i'm incompetent and idiotic and that'll get you quite the response at all possible speed.

of course i keep saying i'm incompetent and idiotic, so maybe i deserve... wait, no. no one deserves ashley's condescension and general lack of tact. and i'm not incompetent. i just fake it well.

i think that deep down i'm actually fabulous at everything and i hold myself back with all my insecurities. i can't even talk to people because i dither so much. we were supposed to have every department we finished evaluated by robin on saturday and i couldn't even manage to page her loud enough to be heard when i finished mine... which led to me being unable to do it again since then it would look like it took me too long to do the department. which somehow all worked out in the end since she was busy and just briefly glanced at it and actually had no criticism for me. a shock, to be sure.

i'm simultaneously anxious and worried about tomorrow... really i should get commendation for the job i did tonight, but i expect that what i'll honestly get is condemnation. damn i hate this system. it's almost impossible to tell who did enough work, and consequently we all get blamed if anything went wrong, but no one gets accolades.

meanwhile, every time i say "condemnation," i simultaneously mentally launch into the depeche mode song of that name and i also slaughter the word by making it into "condom nation." that would have to be a really poor sort of name for a sex shop, i'd suppose. my brain sucks. heh, now i have a vortex in my head. whooo.

well, so i think it's a bit late, and i have yet to take legend out. bleh. maybe i should go for a brief walk with him. i'll be a good aunt barbara. bleh. g'night.
posted by Unknown at 2:23 AM