so debi's off to salina for a few days with rob. oh, and with legend. WHOOO!! i am free of dog for at least two days!! i also have tomorrow off from work, and friday and sunday. it's nice having that sort of staggered schedule. gives my feet rest.
so tomorrow i should make a whole bunch of grand sounding plans for the fourth. then i should ditch them all and spend my life online again. =Þ i think i'm going to do the second part, even if i don't get to the first. really though i'm going to bake something tomorrow. i should clean, too. the left sink in the kitchen is death. *death!* i should also vacuum, since for once legend won't immediately be back to spoil it. if i get that much done, then i won't feel guilty about whatever time i end up wasting.
i should try to make it an early night. darn it, though, i can't since i'm so hungry again. my screwed up schedule: wake up anywhere from eleven to one, eat "breakfast" at two or so, leave for work at quarter of four, have "lunch" at about seven thirty, get back home anywhere from eleven to twelve fifteen, have "dinner" at one thirty in the morning, get to bed anywhere from two thirty to five. MESSED UP!
wait! i can make it all better. my schedule isn't messed up! i'm rebelling against the institution! did you believe me? i didn't believe me.
my life is so boring now. i work, i eat, i sleep, i spend spare time reading or on the computer. i suppose life can always be described in those sorts of terms, though. you just have to enjoy it anyhow. i am, i think... i'm just a bit bored. day five of k mart, and i know all there is to know about the women's and the men's departments. i've also learned a bit about kids today. by next week i'll have nothing left to learn. oh, well today i did find out something of use. most probably my salary is six dollars an hour. i can't be positive of this, but apparently that's the typical starting rate, and it's what everyone else is getting. at any rate i shouldn't be getting less than that. *shrug* huge bloody impact on my life, i'm sure.
i just don't care. it feels like work is almost unrelated to being paid. it's just something i have to do. no reasoning behind it. i show up, i do trivial things, i go home. it's an obligation. i was thinking about it on the bus ride there today. i felt like being on the bus for something other than work. even just to ride around and transfer once or twice and do nothing practical, but just ride the bus. would have been more entertaining for me.
i'm fairly easily amused. it isn't hard to keep me busy. repetition and drudgery really get to me, though. i'm sure it's like that for everyone. there's also something about working in clothing.... it's a never ending task, and the people you are supposed to help are the enemy, in a way, because it is their existence which makes your job so tedious. if they didn't futz around with the shelves so much, you'd be doing something more interesting. or you'd be out of work. *shrug* at least with register a customer you ring up stays rung up. i straighten the same racks of shirts ten times a day. i want to go back to register every once in a while just to switch it up. and amazingly that job required more thinking than this one. *sigh*
i wonder how many days of work i will have in total. i should make a paper chain and count down. get this darned month over with. i want august. i want my computer back. i want out of utah. i want to go to brunchmeet. i want return to school. i whinge a lot about my summer, but i think that i really appreciate school while i'm there. granted i whinge then, too, but it's about assignments, and i feel blessed just to be on campus about ten times a week. i'm not just constantly looking to the future, i do enjoy the present. just i enjoy it more when i'm at school. =Þ
so kathryn and her family are in france by now, i bet. *sigh* kat asked me to email her my address in utah before i left, so i'm hoping for a postcard. although really who expects kat to be that well organized? oh. damn. i should have asked her to send me a couple lollipops.
i'm not much on candy in general... i think sugar makes my teeth hurt. heck, thinking about sugar makes my teeth hurt, but chupa chups are worth it. those things kick. introduced to them by my second french teacher, and when i went to france in high school.... no tabac was safe. i hoarded the things. i really want to go back.
i keep feeling like opportunities in life are wasted because i didn't value them enough at the time. really, though it isn't the case here. there wasn't much more that i could have done while on a school trip with supervision most of the time. i had to follow their schedule, so of course i didn't do all i wanted.
i really want more time in paris, nice, toulouse, monoco, lausanne.... we rushed through three countries in ten days. i want a month in paris alone. i want to live in the culture, not tour it. who bloody cares about the arc de triomphe? i'd rather go to market and watch the people, see the museums more closely, enjoy the scenery... i want to be immersed in culture. i don't want to be at tourist traps surrounded by other tourists. if i go to france, i want to see the french. if i wanted tourism, i'd hang in the metropolitan back home. which is sort of cool, too, but not worth a six hour plane ride.
i hope i can get some money together and go back. i need at least a month. i'd really like to live in france for a year. it would be so rough to work out, though. this is what college should have been for. i wasted it. should have studied abroad... but i didn't know how my curriculum was going to turn out. couldn't have guessed that i might have actually had time.
well now i'm tired, remorseful, mildly dizzy, and still relatively content. what? i'm incurably happy. i'm going to head off early, though, i think. well, if two counts as early. anyhow, g'night.
posted by Unknown at 1:10 AM