day three of work. i love my coworkers. i'm enjoying my job. my life is fabulous and i'm so happy. well, okay so it isn't, but i'm putting on a good show.
debi is quite sick, and i'm rather worried for her. she's going on a camping trip for a bit this week, and i'm hoping it'll help with her stress levels.
yesterday i got a call from her at quarter of four because she was feeling really ill... light-headed and freezing, so she was considering coming home. she seemed all right today, but it was the first time she had to take a blood test on her own, and it turned out even higher than it was at the doctor's.
debi's been looking up statistics and information on diabetes quite a bit this evening, and everything is looking bad. she said that it's the leading cause for heart attacks for people under thirty. my immediate mental reaction was, "well, yes, but it won't happen to you." after that thought came another interesting one. "i wouldn't care if it were me. i'd be less worried." i think i'm secretly convinced i'm indestructible. i've always seemed that way, at any rate.
i'm definitely in denial about debi, though. if i really start considering it i'm going to freak out entirely. meanwhile she also showed me a nice stat.... i have a seventy five percent chance of getting diabetes. it's the going rate if you've got a sister or brother with it. *sigh* well, i have been eating better, (rice and beans, baby!) but putting my back up against the wall is a fabulous way to ensure i pass up on dessert every day at school.
meanwhile i'm sitting here drinking this overly sugary strawberry guava juice. i don't even like it. all i want is some normal juice. who needs guava?? *sigh*
meanwhile, i've finished harry potter four. again. i have nothing left to read. i can read polgara the sorceress. again. *dramatic sigh* *glances at the bookshelf* well, so debi's also got strunk and white's elements of style, the bible, the book of mormon, the marx-engels reader, spanish the easy way, and two romance novels. top choices here, debs. oh, and how could i forget how to build a better vocabulary (because i really need to scare off more of the populace??) and le petit nicholas?
oh, actually i could read sylvia plath's collected poetry. i gave that book to debi. somehow sitting alone in a basement in the middle of a state where you know no one reading plath poetry strikes me as a bad idea, though. hmmm.
i'm going to be stuck here alone july fourth, and i just *know* that reading joining, by johanna lindsey is going to be a worthwhile expenditure of time.... right. i think i'll be online again. i should walk to the library instead and see if i can dig anything up. only problem is that i'm not entirely sure where the library is.
aargh!!! this is *not* fair. summer is my only chance to catch up on reading. the past three summers i was reading through sixty to eighty books in my free time. i've been through about twenty so far, i'd hazard, but the summer's halfway over, and i have no access to any more! *starts hitting things peevishly*
the other major issue is that i'm missing my music. i only brought a dozen or so cds with me, and i'm missing all the things that i couldn't get on cd. *sniff* what is my life without "on ira tous au paradis"? i love that song. i should sit down and translate it decently at some point. only thing is that i never like how it comes out in english. either it's me, or it's the language itself, but whenever i translate the end result is infinitely inelegant, whereas the original is always so beautiful.
right there. that. it's my argument against the whole cultural advancement whatever that roup (brunching ubb person) was putting forth. languages, musics and art forms of other cultures are unique and beautiful. french is in no danger of being lost, but what about the beauty of romanche? does anyone even know where that's from? every culture is worthwhile in and of itself, and even if change isn't forced upon them, having all cultures slowly drift toward the sickening thing we call "american culture" is a terrible thing.
the aspects of "american culture" that are being transmitted to other nations are probably the worst representations we could come up with! bloody n'sync and fast food and awful american tv. (i just had the urge to write "telly," dear me.) america has culture, although my immediate reaction is always to scorn it and belittle it. i think that things like underground music and art are quite worthwhile. even some movies. it's just that our mainstream pop culture sucks a llama's ass. pardon me, i just feel rather strongly about that.
consider mainstream american pop culture for a minute. currently the music scene consists of abysmal things like brittney spears and the same five alternative bands all renamed twelve times, the movie scene ends up being things like tomb raider and bring it on (haven't seen either, but *cough cough GAG*), cuisine consists of burgers, fries, hotdogs and just about anything fried, language additions we have made tend to be really pathetically stupid, and i like british english better anyhow... basically i have no respect for the things we're exporting in cultural terms.
okay, i'm taking even longer than usual with this, because i keep wandering off either physically or mentally. i stopped and made dinner at two am (stupid work schedule messes everything up), then i wandered through various sites for an hour... at this point my mind is in complete tangent mode.
here's what i'm thinking, though. i love people. not everyone is fabulous, or witty, or even kind, but people are still just so interesting. also, most of the people i've been interacting with are just wonderful. i put so much emphasis on interaction with others, but i'm considering going into a field where i'll be alone much of the time. what? and i think i'll be happier that way. what??
i don't know. i think maybe i'm at a point lately where everything will be good in my eyes. it's a great feeling, but it makes things a bit odd. especially for me. i'm not used to happiness, really, and i wonder if it's skewing my judgment. *grin* it isn't to a point where it's obscuring consequences or anything like that... it's just that nothing manages to deflate my mood. really. i'm so happy i feel like crying. heh. the mormons have drugged the water supply.
ooh, my foot is falling asleep. so should i. it's late, and i have to make my sister a salad. is that not random? yes, so i'm going to go and make a salad at four something in the morning then go to bed. i'm laughing at myself again. :) anyhow, g'night.
posted by Unknown at 3:36 AM