today i cleaned. a lot. plus i got attacked by legend some more. i never really did like dogs. i've gotten better, but this is prolly going to cause regression. i'm really disliking legend. maybe because i like my clothing. argh.
i have spent *hours* in irc tonight. argh. bad. well, i don't think it's that bad. i don't have much else to do at this point, and i did get to see most of my favourite people whom i haven't seen much lately. (like genarti, whoo!) unfortunately my sunburn has been annoying me to the point where i couldn't keep my mind off it, so i kept whinging. tish and la chile told me to put tea on my head, so i've been sitting with tea on my head for a good three hours now. i have no pride. =Þ i don't think the tea is actually doing anything, but the fact that i'm constantly putting cold tea on the cloth is making it better. my forehead is radiating the heat of seven suns. argh. i'm trying to tell myself that i'm going to go to bed and it's going to magically be better in the morning. i sure hope so, anyhow.
so today is jorg's birthday, and debi was all in a rush getting ready and whatnot. i got to help her by wrapping her presents. i'm so not good at that, plus half the packages were odd shapes. debi got jorg a lara croft doll, and that was hell on earth to wrap. i am so perfectionistic. the wrapping wasn't good enough. *sigh* like i think jorg's going to care? *shrug* so anyhow, i won't see debi again until tomorrow evening at some point. about twenty four debi free hours. this isn't a good thing, really. i feel like i'm really just not seeing her despite the fact that i'm living with her.
i miss having a real roommate. i love cara and she was awesome to room with. i hope things work as well with morde'an. she's a great person, and i think we have a lot in common, but who knows? we did talk about it before, since both of us have had bad roommate experiences.
well, morde'an's roommate was a little more deliberate about it. she is just controlling and shallow. one of my other friends, sarah, also lived with this girl. while morde'an was her roommate she admitted that she was trying to piss sarah off and make her leave. *big scowl* sarah is great. don't mess with sarah.
anyhow, so morde'an and i spent a few hours talking about beliefs and what our pet peeves were, and what kind of people we are. i think we're both pretty easy going, mostly. the only thing is that i think i should make an effort to use headphones more often when listening to music. she didn't say anything about it, but i know it could well be annoying to have to listen to my odd taste all the time. (and i do listen to music almost all the time)
it's funny, our taste overlaps somewhat (james, the cure, bjork, ministry, nine inch nails i think are all things we both like) but i don't think that our mainstays fit well together. all those groups are groups that either one or the other of us (or both of us) doesn't really actively listen to, but sort of is amenable to. i don't think morde'an would be thrilled with cirque du soleil ad infinitum, and i sincerely doubt that i'm going to turn out to be a huge throbbing gristle fan.
i think it should work out, but i worry that sometimes people don't want to mention things that bother them. it leads to resentment. if you hate me or what i'm doing, then tell me. i'll get over it eventually, and i could maybe try and fix it. if you don't tell me, it just festers. pam and i got to that point freshman year, i think. we just were not at all alike, and i wasn't quite clean enough for her, and she watched way too much tv for me. i think freshman year i was never in my dorm room, so i had a perpetual stack of papers surrounding my bed from dumping them out after class and just leaving.
oh, and i never made the bed. i still never do. what's the point? granted other things get messy again later, too, but the bed can't accumulate messiness. you're also guaranteed to be using it again in less than twenty hours. well, with a few exceptions for projects and whatnot, but if you're doing projects, then who cares about the state of your bed?
this is one thing that if i ever have kids i am not going to even bother telling them. it's just illogical, and i abhor illogic. on the other hand, i adore fake words. i should really start using ept and inapt more often just to be contrary. such a stupid example of our language.
pardon me while i rotate the tea on my head. *sigh*
it's nice to have time to myself, i guess. plus i've got deep forest on. i love them. makes the tea and whatnot all seem better. someday i have to take out all of mercedes lackey's valdemar books again en masse and read them while listening to deep forest's bohème on repeat. i did it once and now the two things are forever inseparable in my mind. that was a while ago, though. high school. i never really had time to read then, but i made time anyhow. now i have time galore and no way of getting books. *pout* debi's got the harry potter series. i suppose i'll read it at some point. i already read it once, though. must... find... more.... books....
i'm enjoying my sister's company when i have it, but i miss everyone from school, i miss my computer, and i miss learning. i think this every day. argh. what am i going to do when i get out of school? this makes it look like once i leave i'll never be happy again. geez. i doubt that, but i think things will be interesting. i already have ended up with friends all over the place that i can't visit. wherever i live after i'm out of school is guaranteed to have no more than one or two close friends nearby.
i've got DC, florida, highland, syracuse, chicago, albany, elmira, babylon, utah, rochester... *sigh* meanwhile i'm thinking i don't really want to live in new york so much anymore. that's the best shot i've got for seeing people. i better learn to like road trips.
i'm seriously anticipating that in five years i'll be in some other state and my entire life will be online, with occasional phone calls. i don't know that it's bad precisely.... well, i'll make other friends wherever i work or whatnot. i seem to be fairly good at making friends now. once people get past the first impression of me being... umm... well, it's not a first impression. it's the truth. i'm condescending and elitist and i should be shot. argh. the thing is that despite my standards, most people pass. well, okay, maybe not. well, a lot of people. really. most people who would want to associate with me are people that i respect and am happy to talk with. i just don't particularly go for the rest of the shallow world.
i don't think that's just me, though. a lot of people i know are like that. plus it's not as though i have a solid rule or anything. i'm friends with some people who i don't think really are supposed to pass my theoretical standards. it's just that i'm not all that close with them since i feel we have little in common. these are people who would be the people you go out and party with, i think, but i tend to refuse to go out and party, so it's largely inapplicable.
well, depends on the party. morde'an's parties are fantastic. i can't even put my finger on why. i think it's that all of her friends click well together. we all have great conversations for a couple hours and joke a lot. i guess people who have nothing to offer in conversation may as well go to parties where you get drunk and hit on people indiscriminately. see? i am elitist. i look down upon the masses. how sad for me. we all have to live in the world, i should make a better effort to enjoy it.
*sigh* it's late and my forehead aches. i think i'm going to moisturize, hope for the best and head off to bed. g'night.
posted by Unknown at 1:07 AM