ok, so today was my first day at work. work in k mart can't ever really be fun, i suppose, but i was quite pleased. fashions is not a difficult department, for the most part, and this k mart is amazingly well organized and also not understaffed! this is completely baffling to me. also, no real dress code. can't wear shorts or sleeveless shirts, but do i own those? i'm so happy, i'm allowed to wear things like jeans! everyone does, actually! i need not buy any clothing, and therefore waste money that i don't have. of course i still need to do the laundry, but buggre all that for a larke. *grin*
my coworkers seem really nice. today i spent most of the day helping out this one girl, amanda, with ladies' fashion, which is always the hardest of the fashion departments. i have things pretty much down by the end of the first day, and i managed to be friendly and not evil. anyhow, amanda and the other two girls in fashions today, jamie and (is it cassie?) seem to think i'm quite funny.
i made one mistake, actually. i said "oh my god" once in front of them. jamie, at least, is obviously a mormon. taking courses at brigham young and whatnot. well, i apologized immediately. i think they'll get over it.
it's so odd... i'm like an insect. ooh, you're from new york? not that they made me feel that way, but it was ever so subtly there beneath conversation.
amanda says i have the same accent all people from out east have. that's pretty general, there. she also said that she thinks that all easterners tend to speak more correctly, and that i proved her theory. i told her i wasn't good proof since my speech is generally amusing to easterners, too. in many situations (when i'm not quite comfortable, if i'm around my father, if i'm just in that sort of mood...) i start speaking the way others would write essays. ah heck, it's always like that to some extent. i just use odd turns of phrase, and odd vocabulary... i'm just odd. yes.
anyhow, so basically most of what i do at work is clean up all day. not really physical labour so much, though, because i'm moving clothing around. whooo, feel the burn. =Þ basically, all you need to work in fashions is a memory. i have a good one, so i'm ahead of the game. just memorize which brands are where and which areas are where, and then use your eyes. i'm sure i'll be doing as well as everyone else by next week.
oh, and i'm rather motivated, and i'm more anal than humanly possible. this means that amanda and i work well together. we both like to see things done well. i get the impression that the department was quite clean at the end of the night as compared with the usual.
i was really happy that she was the person who was helping me out, because she wasn't at all condescending, she was really friendly, and she made me feel like i was competent enough to help, but still put a hand in when i was lost. also, i think she's rather less conservative than most. she says she wants to leave utah when she has her degree, and she said, "oh gods" at one point. i grinned. (i sometimes refer to plural gods. no, i'm not polytheistic. i'm waiting for someone to get offended on me. well, it won't happen at my school, that for sure.)
man, what a good first day. we even got out early. also, my whole odd "i can walk home after work. it's only eight miles" thing ended up being postponed. amanda asked me if i needed a ride, and for once i took someone's help. i'm so silly. i was so grateful, though. i thanked her repeatedly. for almost three minutes, i think.
i still talk too much, but somehow i'm getting along with people. i haven't met everyone in the department yet, i think, but it seems like this is going to be a great job.
also, i talked with a total of about five customers today. what a beautiful thing. :) they're all nice! they're patient! they didn't expect me to do irrational things for them. so utah has an up side. :)
it seems like i don't have many hours a week. i'm not sure how upset i am by this. it's looking like i'm only working maybe twenty four hours. i'm thinking heck with it, if i have to i'll work at school. i want a library job, and my friend, rebecca, works there and said she'd recommend me. i think that'll give me a reasonable shot. with a library job you're only expected to work something like six or eight hours a week, i think, and that's all i need, really. that's more than i need, really. i don't even spend anywhere near twenty dollars a week, so i'd actually be able to save up. wow. this sounds like a good idea already.
if i can't get a job at the library, then i'll apply at one of the coffee shops. won't be as good, but i really think i should work if i can fit it in. i'd love to come out at the end of school and have a few hundred dollars left in my account. it'd be a lot more convenient when it comes time for me to freak out and refuse to live at home. =Þ
hmm. i think this can work. how nice. i think my life is functional. i'm not used to that. heh.
reevaluating my summer job in monetary terms... umm... twenty four hours a week, let's say minimum wage to be as conservative as possible... 123.60 before taxes... so say 90 after taxes and transport, since it'll only be four dollars a week for bus.... hmm. six and a half weeks. ew. well, that's still about $550, and i think i'll be able to deal. there is absolutely no entertainment here, and i'm not spending much on food.
i think what i'm eating tends to be less expensive than debs' choices.
barb

rice, beans, lettuce, peppers, bananas, apples, generic grape nuts, pasta, salsa, milk, eggs,cheese...

debi

lettuce, peppers, milk, eggs, peaches, tomato, beef, chicken, yoghurt, baby carrots...

yeah, so i think we're both actually eating healthy, but beans and generic cereal are a heck of a lot less expensive as sources of protein, iron and whatnot than chicken and beef. eating vegetarian is inexpensive. eating vegan is a luxury. that just starts getting wacky to deal with. odd organic substitutes... weird things. i can't deal with it. i should really cut cheese, since that is not terribly humane, but i can't see a reason to give up things like milk, butter and honey. plus my cooking would never survive that. margarine sucks.
anyhow... maybe i won't be at minimum wage. *crosses fingers* i wish i had guts and i could just ask. i'm such a weenie at times.
it'll be fine. i can do this. my life is actually going to work. i think so. i feel like i'm finally making my own choices, rather than following the path set for me. what a great feeling that is. now i'm pausing to reflect. *grin*
it's so odd to consider that i'm almost twenty one. i feel more grown up, yes, but it's odd to think i'm going to be going after real life and a career soon. i think i can swing it. really. i am really beginning to consider debi's suggestion of teaching in utah for a bit. if i can't go right on to grad school, then it might be a really reasonable thing to do. i'll get experience in a real job, i'll have references, and i'll be able to take courses over the summer, enabling me to take certification tests and actually work toward what i want. no, i don't like utah. no, i don't think teaching is really what i should do with my life, but i don't think that i'm going to botch it up, i do think it will be worthwhile and a good experience, and i do think it will help me gain my feet financially. i feel like i'm looking at this for the wrong reasons, but i was considering teaching as a career for three years. at least now i know what i'm getting into, and it won't just be a haphazard mistake.
i'm shying away from this path a bit, since it isn't my ideal, but i think it might be the most feasible. honestly i can't go home again. i'll go berserk. what options do i have? i can't crash at my friends' houses while trying to make a living, it just isn't reasonable. i should be able to get a teaching job in utah with no problems, since following a new york certification path has made me way overqualified. maybe i won't like it as much as some other path, but i can be reasonably sure this one will work.
i feel as though i'm cold-bloodedly throwing away my hopes and dreams. dear word, i'm a romantic. i'm still trying to follow my hopes and dreams, but choosing a path that makes them feasible disappoints my emotions or whatnot, i suppose. i want to magically get out and be valued for no good reason. heh. nice fantasy world i live in. i'll immediately get a job! i'll be living somewhere with no obstacles in paying rent! *snerk* fantasy is pretty amusing, i think.
so maybe it'll be three to five years of life that i'm not entirely pleased with. at least i'll be able to be who i want to be when i'm done. that sentence rings with promise for me. i'm just not happy when i think it isn't happening until i'm twenty five or so. hmm. well, it took debi until twenty five to have her feet on the ground. i think i'll be better grounded, too. i can do this.
i can't foresee exactly where i'm going, or how i'll get there. i want higher education, i want a job i like, and i want a relationship. if i can do this by thirty, then i should be well pleased, i hope. i'll find my way.
wow, am i feeling positive. life kicks. :) good night.
posted by Unknown at 2:30 AM