I spent today doing my mother's paperwork. Guh. I don't even feel like I'm doing well enough. Oh, and flax seed smells awful, tastes like nothing, and makes everything inflate to five times normal size. Okay, I'm exaggerating, but it really does make you feel like whatever you just ate was made out of lead. I had flaxed pancakes and it felt like I consumed my weight in pancakes. Uuuurphh.

Talked to Jenna yesterday. First time I've heard her voice in... well, since January, when I last saw her. Why do I never see my good friends? They all live all over the blammed place. *sigh* But in a month I'll get to see a whole bunch of people, so I'm contenting myself with that.

Oh, so mom and I got in the spirit of something, dunno what, and threw out half our cabinets' worth of old, scary things. We had cans of food that were a decade old. Peas anyone? We also uncovered seemingly endless resources of brown rice. Great. And I just bought some maybe three days ago. Oh, and the amount of dried beans we have in our house is not to be believed. Oddly it gave me this urge to go and make twelve kinds of soup all at once. Bad me. No biscuit.

I really want to read some more stuff lately, but I feel as though I can't quite. First I can't get to my trunk because of the vast array of electronic garbage that my mother put on it. I wish she would stop using my room for storage, and yet all too soon it'll be just that. I'm just bitter because there's so much crap in there, and nowhere to put it. I feel like I'm living in the closet of a pawn shop. Ugh, but anyhow, the other thing is that mom's been keeping me busy so that I have no time for Borders or the library, and she doesn't me to read. I never quite understood that one, but okay. I guess if I can get out to the library tomorrow while she's out, perhaps I'd be able to read in my room relatively undisturbed. Hmm, better clean out my backpack -- time to splurge!

It's funny how you can manage not to miss people *too* much by concentrating on day to day things. It's a very poor substitute, though. I have gotten to see only two friends since I've been home. Huh. And my computer's staying in its seperate component parts in my room. Equally depressing, almost.

Damnit, why am I so negative all the time? I feel like it's always very much one or the other with my moods, and whenever I'm home everything's always bad. Bleh, it isn't like that. Well. Not every day. Whinge whinge whinge, damnit. But I guess that's just because I have a rather obvious lack of company. Symptom of this: I now have twenty five straight wins in freecell. I'm almost proud, but it's just a bit too pathetic.

Hum. Life seems to be in some sort of scheme to confuse me. Oh well.

So today my good friend's mother told me that I should really just go and finish my music degree at a CUNY school and get a masters later. Okay, yeah, good point. I still need the year off, though. I just have no idea how I'm going to swing that financially if I don't live at home. Can't live at home. *sigh* I guess I'll see come time.
posted by Unknown at 11:38 PM