am i the only non-violent person out here? we talked for three hours in classes today about the events on tuesday, and it seems that there's a concensus that action must be taken. ok, fine. what, though? it seems like everyone is advocating bombing and more violence. why? do you really think death will deter those who plotted this? they have proved already that they have no objections to dying for their goals. this whole concept of vengence... yuck. you're only going to be hurting more innocent people. my philosophy teacher said the military termed this "collateral damage?" oh please. like we can make this somehow an acceptable loss? no, i'm sorry. after all that we've lost it is not appropriate to allow more death. i don't understand how people can view death as reasonable or an acceptable loss ever. damn, but i'm an idealist.

i think after three straight days of discussion, i still haven't really admitted to myself the actual event. it's all so distant. but what reactions i've seen are all too real. so many of them make me want to cry. i just can't fathom the hatred that people can feel, and the violence they would be willing to advocate. damn, and how optimistic some others were....

in my english class this one guy commented that our government is filled with extremely intelligent people, and that therefore the fact that no debate has been forthcoming about what is the proper thing to do will be okay. they'll consider other alternatives and act for the ultimate good, he supposed. umm. yeah, right. i'll grant you that our politicians are mostly bloody brilliant, but if they're strategizing, i fear it's for their own political clout, or for other extraneous reasons, not for our good. not for moral right. i really just don't think that politics is about right. it's about expediency. i hate politics.

i want more music in my life. more ensemble rehearsals. more chamber music. that will make this better. music is the biggest source of beauty in my life, and i'm not getting enough lately. not enough to counter all of this hate. damn, but i wish i could be in more ensembles. if i could play six hours a day, i'd do so without objections. well. never again. i have in the past, but i doubt i'll have the chance again. damn. maybe someday.
posted by Unknown at 8:24 PM