do you know how hard it is to walk without bending your legs? i'm rapidly finding this out, as i pretty much can't.
today started out all right. i was up way too late last night, so i didn't get up until one, but that doesn't much matter since i don't work until five. not that i want to be up that late, but one day is fine. of course it'll be as bad tomorrow, but i have an excuse this time.... we'll get to that.
anyhow, debi finally got sick of the mess in the apartment, and today we cleaned. mostly she did, actually, since what i've come home to is fairly nice looking, now.
well, so i packed lunch (it's still not dinner even if it's at seven thirty, because that's only six hours after i got up) and went off to catch the bus.
second day of work went fine. met another few coworkers, they seem nice enough. talked to jamie rather a bit today. she's nice. time goes slowly, but i felt more helpful today, and i was covering my own department, not shadowing. i'm useful! :)
so work is fine, really. only problem is that i'm not good at standing for that many hours a day. well, so when i was done with work, i had a dilemma. how should i get home? there aren't many options. i had decided that i was going to try walking home. partly because i thought it'd be good for me, and partly to be defiant, i think. mom kept pestering me about this stuff... she wants me to find a cab service. this isn't new york, mom. here, cab means "airport service."
well, so i set off. i briefly stopped at the grocery near k mart to buy a beverage, then i set off, with walkman on, techno music going.
i was doing pretty damned well, actually. i kept up a good speed for two hours. (techno helps with that. i almost get energy that isn't rightfully mine out of the music.)
while i was going at a good pace i was really enjoying my walk, and the nature surrounding me. plus it is really great to have that much darkness. i couldn't see my feet, but i saw the white line of the roadway. it felt like i was just walking on nothingness, but i had a guide. the whole first two hours pretty much kicked.
then came the second two hours. well, not quite. hour and a half. at this point i got to the intersection of this road and the only major highway in the area. umm.... i don't think my directions mentioned that.... but i haven't had a turn to miss.... well, i guess i'll keep going.
i was getting rather nervous at this point, as i felt i was walking farther and farther away from civilization. "if i'm going in the wrong direction, will i be able to get back? can i find a bus route? will there be anywhere with a phone?" i had considered if i would have been better off breaking the law and walking along the highway. that's just nuts, though.
so after another half hour of this, i get to the end of the road. *gulp* umm... was that supposed to happen? i felt at that point like i'd already been walking for at least seven or eight miles, and i was only supposed to go six something on that road. umm.... crud. what options do i have? what else can i do? i turn left and keep walking.
i hit the third hour. there are no street lights for me to use to read my watch, but i know it is the third hour because i've already listened to my obnoxious tape twice through. at this point i say to myself, "the next lighted, populated area i see, i'm going to stop and stay the night. i'll deal with this tomorrow." (i was aiming at a specific sign at that point. super j, or something like that.)
i get to the sign. "hmm... is this familiar? am i delirious? i can't really see or walk straight, how can i tell?" i walk a bit further. i break down in tears. "welcome to payson."
meanwhile, for the past couple years i've been having incidents where tears=asthma attack. happened this time. i was having a hard enough time holding it off on that lonely road... tension and fear apparently also trigger it, now. whoo.
i cried for the half hour or forty minutes it took me to walk through payson. by that time i was a visual mess, my feet were a tactile mess, my knees were an audible mess, and my back was begging to disown me. i could hardly lift my feet and i was sobbing constantly as i walked through "town." i thought that if anyone saw me, they would have imagined i was dead, and haunting the streets of payson.
i think that this may be the worst physical trauma i've endured in years. i can't bloody walk. really. i hope this gets better soon. and i have work again on sunday. i'm so lucky to have a two day break to recover, though. yikes.
oh, and might i add that despite all of this, i'm still in a good mood? hi, i'm freak girl. *yawn* i'm going to get working on that recovery. good night.
posted by Unknown at 4:06 AM